Funny day, really. I’m a bit grumpy, and over life in a general sense. lololololololololol. It took me quite a while to realise that the reason why I’ve been so shitty the past almost 2 weeks, is because I’m not sleeping through the night. The air con in our bedroom broke a while back, and apparently I’m unable to sleep solid when my tits are sweating profusely. hahahahahaha!
Earlier this afternoon, I was sitting on the couch with my laptop table, trying my best to wade through my list. On top of running an international clothing line with little experience, little cash (everyone said “you need millions to start a clothing line”. they were wrong, but now I understand why they said it lol), and little sleep, I was doing my best to answer “fan mail” (I dislike typing/saying that because I sound like SUCH a douche) on my personal brand’s Facebook page.
Doing my best to quickly sift through the messages that ask for my hand in marriage, tell me I’m TOTALLY fuck-able, how sexy my thighs and ass are, and of course the occasional dick pic (blog being served on that topic next so stand by), to find the few that would be asking for help on how to win the battle with addiction or alcoholism, depression, and the like. And of course any messages from other females. That shit is like ice cream on a hot summer day. What was once a rarity, is now starting to become the norm (grrrls reaching out to other women to unite, pay respect, ask for help, etc. VIVA LA REVOLUTION BITCHESSSSSSS!)
Already annoyed that I’m feeling over-tired, hungry (OK, basically hangry at this stage) and running out of time, I reluctantly replied to a message I had already replied to earlier in the week. This message was about someone looking for some ‘feedback’. Long story short, this guy was battling depression and dealing with suicidal thoughts on a daily basis, but has a young daughter keeping him here.
I started writing back, and then said, “ugh! too much to type…. you’re making me want to start a Facebook live right now on this topic, but I’m sitting here in my underwear sweating like a hog lololol” ….
I started out by telling him that A) 5 out of 10 people have the same thoughts nowadays and that he is not alone or unique by any stretch of the mile, and that B) “they” want to keep us all in a perpetual state of unhappiness so we continue to buy shit we don’t need, take drugs we don’t need, and consume everything else under the sun to try to fill the void.
I was attempting to tell this person my life story, and how many times I wanted to blow my head off being a slave to addiction, or being fearful that I had no path or purpose, or being afraid that I’d never make enough money to do the things in life I wanted to, or consumed with sadness because I hated my job and felt like life was not worth getting out of bed…. to then falling down the rabbit hole of conspiracies, and how that woke me up, but put me into a space of fear. To then becoming empowered, and realising that at the end of the day we are all souls just having a human experience and that life is but an illusion. I asked him if he’d ever watched the matrix, and explained that the movie is basically a depiction of our lives as human beings.
I told him that it took me a long ass time to grasp the concept that this life is an illusion. I first read that in a book called “The 4 Agreements” by Miguel Ruiz back when I was in high school. I remember thinking “what the fuck is this guy on about?”. OK- that is a straight up lie, because that is FULL Aussie talk right there. In high school, my thought would have sounded more like, “I wonder what this guy is talking about? This book is pretty airy fairy”.
After explaining hits of things in the most ADHD manner possible, leaving out massive parts of my life that have contributed to my sanity and “konfidence”, aka finding self love- parts such as implementing the 12 steps of recovery into my life, staying clean and sober, and every book, blog video, and learning experience along the way, I then got straight to it, and started typing “The 7 Steps To Kicking Depression”.
(I decided to put that epic shit in purple in honour of Prince)
As you can see from the screen shot, I was throttled to see that my unconscious competence started flowing out from within. All these 7 tools I use in my life regularly, as well as deliver to people who are in need of growing on a personal or professional level. But I’ve never strung them together and used them as a process to kicking depression!
Funny enough, the 7th step is what I did here today: Be of service to someone else.
Although I was tired, hangry, had heaps of “work” to do, and other people to reply to, by taking the time to help someone else without any expectation of getting something in return, I unpacked some unconscious competence, and now have a framework to give to others to practically and strategically find some inner peace in their lives.
And wouldn’t ya know it, come to find out, my favourite artist in the world was one of the world’s biggest humanitarians there ever was. We just didn’t find out until after he passed. After I roll these 7 steps out to my #GRRRLARMY on Sunday (Monday in Thighland/Australia), I’ll come back and write a blog on it so the rest of y’all can get some relief too, if you want/need it.