Pricks, pills & scales…

I have a confession to make…my body is completely whacked!! At times I find it  amusing, sometimes annoying, mostly intriguing. Ok, maybe time for a little context…I have made some TERRIBLE choices over the past 10 or so years! Yes, everything happens for a reason and yes, our past shapes our present but, I think it’s also important sometimes to look back, acknowledge and learn!! What I mean by terrible choices is, I chose not to put myself first, I chose to let other people dictate how I felt about me, I chose to give my power away, I chose to let the people pleaser in me take over (to my absolute detriment), I chose to doubt myself, I chose to let the negative voices take over and, for the longest time, I chose not to do a damn thing about it! How does this relate to my whacked out body? Oh my goodness, in every possible conceivable way! The above choices led to my internal environment being an incredibly stressful place to live. I didn’t actually want to spend time with me, I didn’t want to hear my own thoughts and, I kind of checked out. I detached and started floating through life. Existing but not living. It’s not a fun place to be. This is something I think almost everyone can relate to at some point in their life. I’ve definitely checked back in, and am now riding the wave of what happens when you start to reconnect with your body. Absolute fucking turmoil!!! I’m talking 3 outbreaks of shingles, severe adverse reactions to the anti-viral medication prescribed for shingles, massive weight fluctuations, fluid retention like you wouldn’t even believe, digestive issues, fatigue…..ahh I could go on but really, what’s the point? The point really is that my body is currently teaching me a massive lesson. It’s saying ‘please don’t ignore me, please put me first, take care of me, nurture me, strengthen me and love me’ and I’m inclined to listen right now! I do feel like I’m rambling a little but I also promised myself that I would just be real on here and this is where I’m at right now. My body’s currently in a hyper-reactive state where everything has an instant positive or negative effect! Acupuncture has been fabulous…the chinese herbs the acupuncturist gives me – eek! Well, the last lot instantly did the complete opposite to what they were supposed to do…but it’s a learning game, and if you don’t try, you don’t know! I’m loving spending time with my own thoughts hanging out in a sauna, hot yoga has become a regular part of my regime. I used to just smash out my angst in the gym but lately, my body flares up every time I work out so I’m listening and giving the weights a rest (as hard as it is!) and focussing on things that help me reconnect with my body. Meditation, yoga, even the acupuncture helps with this. This is what’s important. When was the last time you really listened to your body? Paid attention to the little signs it’s giving you? You know that little twinge we call a gut feeling? That’s the one I should have paid attention to in the past and the one I trust with everything now. We know more than we realise…we just have to trust it.