A Message To FlagNorFail In Regards to Ella Kociuba

I find my timing to be impeccable.  I literally just wrote a blog about FNF earlier this week.  I truly thought Ella was going to hold onto this heartbreak forever. So...... Where to start?  I have SO MUCH to do today, but this blog needs to be written.  More and more women are coming out and finding their voice. It’s gaining so much momentum, that I feel we have to keep fueling the flames so this fire burns out everyone’s demons across the world.  You see, when you hold onto a secret, or something that you should be talking about with at least another person, it grows inside of you.  In the dark, mold grows.  It festers and spreads.  That’s what it’s like carrying around a secret, or a story that you don’t feel comfortable sharing.  This is why American’s love therapy.  We pay someone to listen to our shit.  But a lot of people can’t afford therapy.  And aren’t sure where to turn to when sharing. I digress... OK... so who is Ella Kociuba?  Ella is an elite obstacle course athlete and a GRRRL Ambassador/Sponsored Athlete.  She’s a 24 year old free spirit, who’s been through A LOT in her short stint on this earth so far.  I won’t go into detail, because she does a great job of sharing her story in the below video. (if you don’t have the full 40 mins to spare, Ella’s reading of a FNF representative’s words are 35:00 in) Watch Ella’s Video Here Now, I found Ella on Facebook at some point in the past 3 years, and had attempted to reach out to her re: GRRRL and sponsorship a few times with no avail.  At some point, someone on my team finally got in touch with her and organised a chat.  Mid 2016 I called Ella to “have a chat”, and what she told me, blew me away. The chat was about why she had reservations and was hesitant about entering into a sponsorship.  So of course I had to dig deep and find out why.  (Because at the end of the day, I usually get what I want.  And I wanted Ella.)  She lives, breathes, and eats body positivity, and has an incredible story of overcoming adversity with her eating disorder, and pain. (She grew up with a broken back I might add) After we were on the phone for a good half an hour, she told me in confidence about her experience with  FNF that changed her life for a number of years.  After an hour and a half on the phone, we were like old childhood friends (the type you call ‘your cousin’ because growing up you never knew that you weren’t really family, you had just assumed because you spent so much time together).  I invited her to come to GL17 and share her story on stage in Las Vegas, and of course told her no pressure as to what level she wanted to take it. GL17 came, and she spoke on stage, sharing her story.  However did not talk about the crippling part of the story where FNF really - in my opinion - did something corporately unforgiveable. So I continued to bite my tongue whenever someone would mention how great the company was. In a nutshell, Ella was signed with Flag Nor Fail 4+ years ago.  Ella was battling anorexia at the time, which soon turned into bulimia.  After her bones shattered during one of her last races (effects from purging), she finally got to a point where she needed to go public with what was really going on in her life. She missed her brothers graduation from the Marines, and realised that she was going nowhere.  She posted a blog that night after realising she needed to get it out, and sent it off to the owners of FNF.  Without a response from anyone, a few months later, FNF started a campaign with the theme “Fuck Balance”.  At one point, she was tagged on a social media post, and simply said “I believe in balance”.  Which in turn lead to a phone call from FNF where in essence  Ella was told that FNF coporately felt that she looked fat, and did not look like an athlete.   It was a devastating phone call for Ella, which shattered her spirit for many years to come.  Until now that she’s decided to move on with the healing process. The reason why I wanted to write this blog, is to commend Ella for opening up about what happened.  It has already served as inspiration to give others courage to come forward and talk about their struggles and demons.  I’ve seen a handful of videos in response, and women starting to openly talk more about how much they struggle on a daily basis.  The thing is, the more we share our stories, the more others will find strength to do the same.  Furthermore my hope is that FNF will apologise.  I have a feeling this rep might not even be aware to what extent his words shattered someone else’s life.  So often in business, that is how the male energy rolls: It’s all about the money.  It’s all about winning- It’s all about doing WHATEVER it takes to get to the top, no matter how many people get stepped on along the way. With GRRRL, it couldn’t be further from the truth.  With a female centered energy, the entire point of our Mission is fueled by sisterhood.  By lifting one another up.  Strengthening others, so we strengthen ourselves.  That way, we can COLLECTIVELY get to the top, helping one another rise up. It’s important that we call people out, primarily so they can be held accountable, and hopefully make change in their own lives and become better people.  It’s hard to hear when you’ve fucked up.  I am a self-centered person in that I have a lot of pride.  But I’ve made a habit of getting used to apologising and owning responsiblity with my part in every situation, whenever I hurt someone else or make a bad decision. It’s important that other women know that they are not alone.  And this is our Mission with GRRRL moving forward in 2018 and beyond: Giving women a platform to share their stories and messages, so they can help others.  We will all get to the top of that pyramid together. Watch Ella’s short GRRRL production here: https://www.facebook.com/Likeagrrrl/videos/1842900635732736/